Frugal Fridays: Cheap Date
Fri May 23, 2008 at 11:58:32 AM PDT
Months ago I read this article about how expensive romantic relationships can be: Love can hurt — your bank account. This is not the first time I've seen people say something like, "I don't have enough money to be in a romantic relationship right now." I'm here to tell you that is just crazy talk. While it is not true that "two can live as cheaply as one," one can, in truth, be in a relationship and spend not much more than one does living a solitary existence. Follow me down to find some ideas for how to fall in love without breaking the bank.
The truth of the matter is that it has been decades since I was single and dating, so some of my advice may be a bit behind the times. Please join in the comments with your own advice.
Where to go on a date?
In the early stages of a romance, the best dates are those where you can get to know the other person, and where you are doing something out of the ordinary enough to make the time feel special, but not so unusual as to push you out of your comfort zone. You don't need to go to a fancy restaurant or club to achieve this goal.
For example, one good idea I read was for a couple that met on-line and were both somewhat shy in person. They went out to a coffee shop together with both laptops where they sat and chatted over the internet with each other. It was familiar enough that they could relax and really enjoy it, but special enough to make it memorable.
Here are some other ideas
- Pick an activity which will give you something to talk about. For example, a bookstore date where you wander around and pass off some of your favorite books to share can be a great way to get to know one another.
- Rather than dinner and a movie, how about take out and a DVD? It's not only cheaper, it can be more romantic if you spend a little effort to set the scene. Whether you choose fine china and candlelight or a "picnic" in the living room, make some effort to break this special dinner out of your regular routine.
- A picnic in a park is a good idea. A picnic in the park the day of a free concert can be even better. Look in your local paper for free or low cost events and schedule some time around one.
- Going for a walk or a bike ride can also be a fun way to explore new territory around your home and to discover comparabilities.
- Rather than dinner at an expensive restaurant, consider lunch instead. The menu often has the same dishes at much lower prices. Or you could just do a dessert date.
Gifts
While De Beers and Hallmark and Godiva would like you to believe that no one will ever love you unless you shower them with expensive gifts several times a year, it's all just a load of hooey. A gift is just a way of communicating the message, "You matter to me." Rather than spending money, spend some time and energy and you can come up with something they will treasure far more than jewelry or sports tickets. Coming up with ideas can be tough, but think about what he does for fun, what he reads, what she laughs at and before long you'll have a good idea of what would please your partner. One thing that none of us ever have enough of is time. If you can find a way to relieve the burden of their everyday tasks so that they can carve out some extra time for themselves, that can be the greatest gift of all. One warning on this advice, giving someone something utterly practical may not always be appreciated as much as you would hope. You don't want your gift to emphasize the drudgery of your dear heart's life.
Relatively inexpensive romantic gifts include:
- A handwritten love letter or little surprise love notes you can leave in odd places
- Framed photos (not just of you, but also of distant friends or family members they wish they could visit more)
- Burn a CD or build a playlist of music that has special meaning to you two.
- Create a treasure hunt with a series of clues, each leading to the next and the last leading to a cherished memento of a special time you shared
- A small potted plant will be a living reminder of your thoughfulness. A potted herb garden is a fantastic gift for someone who loves to cook.
Discussing Finances
One of the main causes of divorce in this country is disagreement over financial issues. If these concerns can be serious enough to break up a marriage, don't you think it would be a good idea to start discussing financial issues early in the courtship? I'm not by any means suggesting that you whip out your latest tax return over dinner, but you should be able to talk about finances in at least general terms. You want to find out if your financial goals and your attitudes towards spending and saving are compatible.
Keep in mind that the dating process is essentially an interview process to find a long term partner. One question you probably are both asking, at least subconsciously, is "Is this person going to be a financial drain on me for the future?" If you find that you feel you are the one putting everything in to the relationship, whether financially or emotionally, you need to take a step back and decide if this is the right partner for you. I'm not suggesting you immediately dump your partner at the first sign of trouble, but you should start a dialog about finances and expectations sooner rather than later.
Further Resources
If you want some more good ideas check out these past Frugal Fridays diaries and other blogs I've found that might be helpful:
Frugal Tip of the Week: Several months ago I mentioned that if you owned a credit card in the period 1996-2006 you are probably eligible for a settlement of at least $25. The deadline for filing is fast approaching. Go here for more info.
